Only God Knows Why??

"An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth."



"These are my footprints,
so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints
never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint,
for now I have wings.
These tiny footprints were meant
for other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints,
in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you,
if you just give me the chance.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind,
and call each one that grieves.
Most of all, these tiny footprints,
are found on Mommy and Daddy's hearts.
'Cause even though I'm gone now,
We'll never truly part."

Only god knows why are babies heart stop beating and chose to leave instead come to be with us as a family. The doctor don't know why I have now had two miscarriages within a year of each other. I am very sad not sure of trying again but need time to heal and move on with life. This baby I saw at 6 weeks tiny and heart beating will always be in my heart as my child even though it didn't make it to earth to be with me maybe someday I will meet in heaven. For now my heart is hurting goodbye my little baby!

St Patricks

My new Leperchaun Mom made! He is so dang cute!


My holiday tree~!
This year came and went so fast I almost missed it! The boys were so excited to go school and see if the Leprechaun's had come to there school. Treyton had made traps in his class hoping to capture one of the naughty green men searching for gold. He came home happy they left some plastic gold and escaped the traps. As for Brendan they hadn't done much but flip the desks over and move on to other classes. I usually do green food and desert but wasn't feeling up to it. Maybe next year. Ledger was cute in his green pants and happy playing on his four wheeler. It was a fun day I love march since my two babies are born then. Spring has started but not the weather yet.
Ready for days of sunshine and warm temperature's!
My mom made the darling Leperchaun guy I just love him to pieces! He is my favorite March decoration!!!

Treyton is 7!!

My sweet Treyton turned seven I can't believe! His birthday is the 11Th exactly four days after Brendan's. It is always a long wait for him now since they got older we have decided to celebrate on there actual birthdays and when brothers comes first it is so hard to wait for your when there so close. Its a big week at our house! He didn't want to invite friends from school he is really shy and just didn't want to have to hand out invites , but he wanted his neighborhood buddies over and buzzed on his bike to deliver those ones. His party theme was Wii Mario cause Luigi rides a dirt bike I tried my best to make a Mario land cake it was fun!
Treyton was very happy that morning ready to open his gifts I set out on the table! He loved his Travis Pastrana toy motorcycle and his Nerf gun thing.
We also got him a new pedal bike that was really neat orange and black with flames his favorite FLAMES!! Plus for his new motorcycle bike he got new decals with his last name on them and number! They already went the rounds on their bikes before the party having a ball! I took him and got balloons and a ty doggie like Brendan's in the afternoon its just not a party without them!It was a great night!

All the kids came later in the evening and we ate Pizza and loads of cake and Icecream. They all ran wild playing Nerf tag with velcro vest that the bullets stick too so when you hit them you win more points! They were having a blast, they also bowled on the Wii. Treyton got lots of cash, cute fox hats, and games for the PS2.Cake stayed in one piece this year which he was glad! After last years. I love love my Treytor Patator!!! Hes such a artistic and hard worker, hope his day was great!

Thankful Thursday!

So I never do Thankful Thursday and really have a lot to be thankful for just too busy and the days go so fast! I have read others thankful Thursday's and decided today I am pretty thankful and wanted it posted!
I have been feeling pretty nauseous and was worried how I was going to take care of my baby, kids and the house etc and feel this sick!
Lucky for me the phenegran I got from my doctor has really helped and I feel halfway normal and very LUCKY and happy!
The house is going normal, I can sew, cook and play with my kids what could be better than that!!
I am thankful for my doctor and medicine today!!!

Happy Birthday #10

I can't believe my first baby is already ten! I sat thinking about him being born and rushed in life flight to McKay hospital in Ogden and cried the whole night not knowing if he was going to be okay! He was born just after midnight and we were so happy we like the number seven so we wanted him to make it the 7th of March to be born and he did!! He was a strong baby and only had to stay 9 days in the NICU and came out strong and happy! He was born early at 34 weeks so his lungs were wet and he needed air and meds to get them stronger for him to survive.
It was terrifying night that I will never forget. My first baby!!

He got very spoiled for his birthday this year. Leonard looked and looked on Ksl for a good Kawasaki dirt bike ...if possible for him since he had outgrown are other bikes. We found a great one and stashed away telling Brendan it was a junker and we didn't get.

He was so excited for his birthday. The weekend before we took all the boys down to Boondocks fun center. Since Treytons birthday is only four days away we let them pick where to go and eat dinner.
It was fun night with yummy food from Olive Garden. My only regret is always bring your stroller Ledger was running away every minute and a handful!!

Brendan decided this year to have friends from school come to the party. It was LOUD seven boys in one house can really make some noise!! But they had a blast playing tony hawk skateboard game on PS3, eating pizza and Ice cream cake. His birthday theme was Tony hawk this year him and treyton are both really into riding skateboards it was perfect!

Brendan has wanted Jason toy off Friday the 13Th forever since before Xmas. Santa messed up and probably couldn't find Jason ha ha and got him Michael Meyer's from Halloween that he also loves. I am a wimp and still get scared watching Freddie in Friday the 13Th I really don't know why he loves it!
He is really into scary Halloween stuff right now he kills us with his little fads from BIG trucks, superheros, jack sparrow, Harry Potter, punisher and now Halloween all of them. He really is into drama I wish they had a school program for that he loves to be other characters.
So I bid and bid on a Jason toy on eBay and finally won! I was so relieved you wouldn't believe the people after these scary little toys!

He got lots of gifts, the cake was to die for! Sandwiches from Subway and Pizza and a great night of skateboarding with his friends!
Happy Happy Birthday my big big BOY!! I love you!
I wish he would never grow up!!

We are so Blessed!

I do not have a face to see,
or put inside a frame.

I do not have soft cheeks to kiss;
I don't yet have a name.

You can't hold my tiny hands,
nor whisper in my ear.
It's still too soon to sing a song,
or cuddle me so near.

But all will change come October 25,
when they say I'm due.
I'm your new son or daughter;
I can't wait till I meet you.

All I ask between now and then
is your patience while I grow.
I promise I'll be worth the wait,
because of all the love we'll know.

So as you're waiting patiently,
please pray lots of prayers for me.
I cannot wait to be a part
of this wonderful family!

I am Pregnant and so excited! I found out day after Valentines and I am now 6 weeks plus~ I been so scared and every worry has come to my mind for the past two weeks, not to mention I took 7 pregnancy tests all positive. I saw tiny baby and heartbeat yesterday and can't find the words how excited and blessed I feel~ I wanted to cry and jump for joy all at the same time!

((((Please!!!! Please!!))))) Do not post on my facebook about the baby I do not want to share my news there yet but only here with close friends and family! Please honor our wishes and do not post on the public website facebook!~ Thanks a million!